Friends and family said he had wanderlust. As far as I’m concerned , Wanderlust must be going by an alias. I don’t know who he was. The adventurer. Someone who loved to sail since he was a little boy.. The dreamer of dreams. The one who could build things by just looking at a sketch. The one that sailed to foreign lands and had adventures. The man who would request a song and start dancing. Who was he?
I have heard about him. This man has built a legacy with the boats he built, the loves he had, and decisions to leave it all and come to America. Who was that person? I don’t know him. I just know the man that sits in his chair. He says he can’t walk anymore. He looks at the internet all day and talks to the dog.
When we married, this man had a gypsy spirit. We talked about visiting the islands together. Moments shared. Talking about making new memories. None of the treatments or procedures have helped. He can’t walk down the dock like he used to. My man is in pain just walking into the kitchen. The gypsy spirit is gone. It has been replaced by a man that acts 20 years older. A man in whom I have just become his caregiver. If I had only known the future.
I remember the day he got on both knees, crying, asking me to marry him. My gyspy soul wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I learned not long after that I was the one to take care of him. The fun days were over. I was the caretaker for the rest of our marriage.
If I had known, would I have still married my husband ? The man who filled my heart with wonder? The one who knew so much about history?
Everyone else talks about this man with wanderlust. Creative, enduring, and determined. I want to know that man. For to tell you the truth, I’ve never known him.
